How Do I Solve Thee?

Words:  14

Average Length: 5.29

In the immortal words of President Carter, today’s effort to merge poetry and crossword construction is an “incomplete success.”  With recent minis touching on haiku (5-7-5×5) and couplets (Iamb Gridding), I decided to tackle a longer form, known for its 14-line structure, iambic pentameter, and specific rhyme scheme.  The goals: (1) construct a grid with the poetic form at 1 Across (check!), (2) make the clues fit the relevant poetic form (check!), (3) have the clues, when read top to bottom, make sense as this particular poetic form (buzz!!!).  Alas, they don’t.  I spent far too long trying to come up with fill that could be clued as a cohesive verse before deciding that I had better things to do, like sleep.  The result isn’t what I’d hoped for, but I think it should still be a fun solve.

online | puz | pdf | solution

Just for yuks (or more likely, yucks), here’s the complete “1 Across”:

Will Shakespeare penned one hundred fifty-four

With learned talent, showing mast’ry true.

A three-D model, making one’s a chore

A doctor who takes care of teeth for you.

It’s shouted in La Liga on TV

Consumed, devoured, scarfed, or nommed it all

A Spanish word whose meaning is to be

An org that fights abuse of alcohol.

The dog who is the butt of Garfield’s jokes

A glowing substance in a retail sign

A bag you get for funding Terry Gross

A store that sells its merchandise on-line.

They’re caps that Scottish men often display

A common one:  a pitcher’s E.R.A..