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Themeless 63

This has nothing to do with the puzzle, but I saw this while food shopping yesterday. I absolutely do not want to know what happened!

Words:  72

Average Length:  5.28

It’s too bad this wasn’t Themeless 42, as you’ll understand once you’ve solved the puzzle.  I called this a themeless even though the one of the two seeds (1 Down/8 Down, with 17 Across the second) and a few other entries relate to a hysterically funny, warm-hearted Douglas Adams series that I would make compulsory reading if I were 1 Down/8 Down.  Constructor’s prerogative – if it’s 72 words or fewer I get to call it a themeless, especially if the related answers aren’t placed symmetrically.  (There’s also a bit of a baseball mini-theme.)

Note: please excuse the poor wording of the clue for 40 Across. The answer is plural.

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